What's in YOUR Wallet?
by Peggi J. Crawford
Summary: It's amazing what you can learn about someone just by looking in their wallet, but sometimes chaos can be started. Rated for "suggesting" adult themes.


Peggi: Oh em gee another Saint Seiya one-shot? Could it be possible the plot bunnies are gaining strength?

Eevee: Or is it just because I'm here?

Peggi: Or could it be both?

Seiya: Or could you just get on with it already so I can go home?

Peggi: No one invited you anyway!

Seiya: (is unloved)

Disclaimer: Peggi isn't cool enough to own Saint Seiya. That's why she writes really bad fanfiction. She also doesn't own any really cool magazine companies. She did, however, eat a pop-tart while writing this.

Peggi: (nods)

* * *

It was a normal day in the Kido mansion, or at least as normal can get given the circumstances. A sleepy-eyed gold saint of Virgo grumbled as he walked down the seemingly never-ending stairs. Why were there always so many stairs no matter what setting the saints were in? Better things had to be worried about at the time, like what was for breakfast and what kind of trouble to get into that day.

By the time Shaka made it into the kitchen the aroma of coffee and bagels had already filled the area and an overly-cheerful Devy sat not at, but _on_the kitchen table reading Vogue magazine and filling himself with aforementioned bagels and coffee.

"Early bird?" Shaka mumbled as more of a statement than a question.

Devy simply smiled and didn't even bother looking up from his magazine, "you know, if you dyed your hair brown like Ashley Tisdale I bet it would really bring out your eyes a whole lot more."

It was times like this that Shaka wished he hadn't left his room and had stayed in to meditate. It was also times like this that made him wonder why he hadn't just lived a life of solitude. He sat down at the table in front of Devy and slowly pulled the magazine away from the white haired boy.

Devy eyed him questioningly, "can I help you?"

"Yes. You can."

Silence. More silence. Turning into awkward silence.

"Hey guys!" Shun always tended to break the awkward silence, not always in a positive way.

"Hi Shun!" Devy was honestly grateful for the distraction by the Andromeda saint; he had a sneaking suspicion that the older blonde boy might like him in ways that the feelings were not mutual.

"Have you seen Peggi?" Shun opened up the cabinet door where the bowls and plates were stored, then closed it.

Shaka raised an eyebrow, "well she's not in there."

Devy giggled. Shun always had a way of doing that. He tended to ask where Peggi was before looking in a place that, even for her small size, she could not fit (or at least not comfortably) and then look distraught when she wasn't there.

Shun sighed, "well if you see her, let her know I'm looking for her."

Devy instantly recognized that something was on the other boy's mind. He knew perfectly well where Peggi was. The sun had barely risen, breakfast had still not been eaten, there was no loud noise or sounds of destruction. Peggi hadn't even gotten out of bed yet.

"If you're worried about when you guys have to go off for two weeks of training and leaving her here maybe you should spend some _quality_ time with her."

Shaka hated the way Devy said that word, 'quality'. It always sounded so dirty. Shaka also hated that after Devy said it out loud he giggled at his own word. Only Shaka was allowed to laugh at Devy's seemingly dirty words. At some point during his thoughts of how much he hated it when Shun and Devy were in the same room at the same time, apparently the two of them had run off somewhere _without_ him. Shaka hated it when they did that.

It was an entirely different part of the Kido mansion where Shiryu fumbled through his clothes. He hated preparing to leave, if not for the fact that he liked having an actual _bed_ to sleep in, then the fact that there was a very beautiful red-haired girl_ in_ the bed for him to lay next to. It had always been so easy for him in the past, he had his friends to fight along side of, he had grown up as an orphan so he had no real attachments to anything aside from his goals of obtaining the Dragon cloth followed by saving Athena from whatever perils she put herself in week by week, but then he met _her_and his life changed. He sighed, frustrated with himself for not being able to think clearly about packing but then realized the sun was coming up, he was hungry and it was probably between his hunger and the fact that he still had yet to go to bed that were causing this frustration. He would go downstairs, eat, then come back, sleep a bit, then pack. He wouldn't think about leaving for a while. At least not until Eevee woke up.

Sighing again, he made his way down the stairs toward the kitchen. He was passing through what was meant to be a living room and into the kitchen when he noticed Devy sitting in the windowsill, eating a donut and reading what appeared to be Glamour magazine. Sometimes he had questions about that boy. Usually he was the only one in the household smart enough to not _ask_ said questions.

Shaka was mumbling something over a hot cup of coffee. Shiryu didn't pay much attention to it and began to search through the freezer for some waffles. Shaka knew him too well.

"No waffles. Hyoga ate the last ones."

Shiryu was slightly more agitated than usual, but that was probably still the hunger taking over. He settled for a pop-tart. Not very filling, but it was better than nothing. He popped it into the toaster and began rummaging through his pockets. Wallet, something that looked like it had once been a note of some sort and had gone through the washing machine one too many times, a few coins, a cigarette lighter which he wasn't even sure why he carried aside from something to entertain Resa when she had nothing better to do than harass him. Nothing interesting, but he spread it across the counter. He flipped through the wallet and pulled out a credit card, then folded it back up and placed it next to the sink. He played with the lighter a little bit until his pop-tarts were ready and then he pulled them out and sat down with them on a plate at the table. Shaka glanced up and couldn't help but notice that the younger saint was a little depressed.

"You know, the time will fly by and you'll be back home before you know it."

Shiryu knew he was right, but somehow it never felt that way. He felt miserable. He sighed, stood, put his plate in the kitchen sink.

"That's true, but I wish it didn't feel like every time I get home and get adjusted we have this conversation again. Thanks, at least for trying."

Shiryu walked off and Shaka felt a little sorry for him, he knew that it must be difficult to leave someone you care about. Being a Gold saint had its advantages, like not having to travel for training, and not having to buy other people ice cream. Not having a girlfriend also helped with the second advantage. Shiryu and Shun spent more money on ice cream than they did on rent.

Shaka just so happened to look up and notice that Shiryu had left his assortment of items on the counter and he walked over to scoop them up and take them to the bronze saint before he made it all the way up the stairs only to find that they were missing, but as he grabbed them off of the counter top he dropped the wallet and something fell out of it. Shaka froze, not sure how to react. Things could've been timed a whole lot better for the blonde who was still not fully awake. He stood with the item in hand just as Devy was walking into the room.

"Plans with me for after breakfast?" Devy smiled sheepishly.

Shaka tried to think of something witty but nothing came to mind aside from "yes".

Silence. More silence. It was awkward silence from the start. Devy wasn't even sure how to reply to that one. He walked up to the Gold saint and looked him directly in the eyes.

"No, really, what exactly are you doing?"

Shaka realized how this looked, or actually, he didn't, but he could only imagine.

"It's not for you," Shaka hid the item behind his back, "it's for Shiryu."

There was a blank stare directed at Shaka, "wait. You're holding a condom in mid air for _Shiryu_, who not only _isn't_ here, but also_ isn't_ gay?"

"No, wait, that's not what I mean. I wouldn't be holding it if it was for me _with_ him, but it's for him, I mean, it's his, no mine.

Devy liked it better when he was confused. Shaka realized how it sounded and now he was flustered and somewhat embarrassed, and it wasn't even his!

Devy giggled, "don't worry Shaka, never on the first date anyway."

The white haired boy reached around Shaka's waist almost as if he were hugging him, and grabbed the foil wrapped offending item from him to examine it.

Shaka felt somewhat offended, "what do you think you're doing?" he tried to grab it back, failed.

"Learning. You know, you can tell a lot about a guy by what's in his wallet.

Hyoga entered the room in the middle of the scene. Shaka's cheeks were flushed, Devy was holding a condom with an arm still around the older boy's waist and Hyoga wished he'd just stayed in bed a few extra minutes.

"Sorry guys, didn't mean to interrupt."

"Don't worry," Devy giggled, "this is for Shiryu anyway."

Sudden interest. Also, suddenly everyone wanted to show up. Before long there was a group formed around the table and they listened attentively at Devy.

"There's really a lot you can learn about a person based off of what they carry on them! For example, Hyoga, show us what you've got on you."

Hyoga rolled his eyes and a single item appeared. It was a ticket stub he'd gotten a few nights before at a carnival for the door prize which he hadn't won.

"Just trash," Hyoga wasn't sure where this was going, but Devy seemed to have an answer.

"No, it's showing us who you are."

Seiya giggled, "Hyoga is trash."

Death glares shot at him.

"No," Devy was slightly irritated, "Hyoga, you hold on to things you want, or at one point wanted. You know that even though you can't have them, you can look back on the times when you had a chance of having them and be content."

Chills down Hyoga's back, that kid was creepy, even if that creepy kid was right.

"Okay, my turn," Mu handed over an ancient-looking coin to him, which was easy for anyone to guess; he was a pack rat.

"Easy," Devy had a smile on his face as if he'd just unlocked the mysteries of the universe, "you hold on to things that you feel have meaning in the world, relics and antiquities, even though you really know deep inside that they hold only value to you. Things like this coin were given to you by people you love deeply and you feel like a part of them is with you if you carry something that they'd given you. I'm guessing this was probably from a family member who has passed or a best friend you don't see very often.

Ikki smirked, "well nothing in my wallet or my pockets so what does that tell you about me?"

"That what you hold dear to you isn't something that you can fit into a wallet or a pocket, and what few things are important to you aren't of monetary value. But anyone who knows you could've figured that one out.

Camus took everything in for a moment and then asked the question that had been playing on everyone's mind but no one had asked, "so how would you describe Shiryu? I mean, this whole thing got started because of a condom, what does that say about him as a person."

Devy blinked several times at the saint of Aquarius as if he had been speaking a foreign language, "it means he wants to have sex but he's smart enough to not get a girl knocked up."

Camus blinked, everyone was silent, at least until Hyoga spoke his mind.

"Wait, so that's all you can tell us? What was this whole conversation for then?"

Devy giggled, "because I like to confuse you guys. But for reals, what I've told you is all true and you all know it. But I'm really confused about Shiryu. See, this little thing," he held up the offending item that had started such commotion in the household, "is chocolate flavored. I'd never have thought of him as being kinky. It just doesn't seem to fit with his personality, not to mention the other random things he had. The rest says he is a deep thinker, with a lot of interests. That, well it was just random."

Ikki cringed, "I've known him my whole life, and I think it's disgusting. Why can't anyone just wait for marriage? And kinky of all things."

"Who's kinky?" Shiryu walked through the doorway, confused.

"No one, nothing, who? Huh?" Devy, flustered, shoved the condom into the wallet and tossed it on the counter as if nothing had happened.

Shaka sighed; he was probably the only person in the room who would at least make an attempt at being honest, "you left your wallet in here, we were prying, we're really sorry."

Shiryu still had a dumbfounded look on his face, "prying? What did you find in my wallet?"

Hyoga found it almost a game now, "this!" he pulled the item out and waved it around.

Shiryu held back massive amounts of giggles, "uh, guys."

"Don't worry about it man," Seiya wrapped an arm around his friends shoulders in comfort, "it's cool."

"But guys," Shiryu was frustrated at this point.

Mu's turn, "we're all just having some fun with you, Shiryu. We will still look at you as the same person we grew up with."

"No, seriously, that's not even mine."

He was serious. Silence. More silence. Hyoga was so good at breaking silence.

"Wait, if it's not yours then whose is it?"

As if planning for the perfect timing, the owner of said wallet bounded into the kitchen.

"Oh, hi guys!" Shun greeted, still pretty sleepy.

"Wait-" Ikki realized that the only member of the household who wasn't in the room had been his brother.

"Hi Ikki! Oh, Shiryu, thanks for looking in the car for me," he grabbed up the wallet with a smile on his face, "although I won't be too thrilled if you took my cards again."

Shiryu's cheeks flushed slightly as he pulled a credit card out of his pocket, could people really read him like a book? Shun skipped off, going who knows where, Ikki had an idea, and he figured he'd stop it while he was ahead.

Devy, who had probably known all along, grabbed him by his collar.

Then there was silence. More silence. Awkward silence.

* * *

Ikki: Have I mentioned lately just how much I loathe you?

Peggi: (grin) yesh.

Devy: ZOMG I made, like, a really long appearance!

Shaka: I have a complaint about my character!

Hyoga: I do NOT ask questions people don't want to ask and then look like an idiot for being the only person to ask them!

Resa: But Hyoga, how about that time you-

Hyoga: Shut up Resa!

Shiryu: Why can't I ever be kinky? Why is it always the innocent ones?

Peggi: Because we can't have you dying, now can we?

Hyoga: Well he didn't die in that one story that Resa wrote where he-

Eevee: Am I the only one who hasn't read that story yet?

Peggi: Hold that thought. I think I just came up with another idea for a one-shot.

Shiryu: Oh good lord...what now?

Peggi: (evil grin) You'll see.


End file.
